What Kind of Dick Are You?
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Dicks are like snowflakes. Not everyone is the same. Some are LARGE, some are small. You've got thick ones and thin ones. Lots of veins or surprisingly smooth. Then there are the ones that are cut along with ones that still wear a sweater....

I have been up close & personal with MANY different dicks in my life. I have a pretty good idea what I like and what makes a "good dick" to me. I've been surprised by dicks before. Especially the "growers". We'll get into that a little later. Here are a few you may come in contact with during your sexual adventures. Try not to act shocked the first time you see his dick. He WILL notice. *Weather he gives a shit or not is unpredictable.

1 - Mr. Thick Dick
- this guy is full of life! If you're looking for the dick to hit all sides of the walls and fills you to maximum capacity.

2 - Micro Peen
- this dick can't be called a dick. If it's smaller than 3 inches when it's hard... you've got a Micro Peen. Look on the bright side, easiest blowjob of your life!

3 - Mr. U-turn
- Some guys are curved. I'm not talking about a slight bend.... I'm talking about a SERIOUS hook to the right or the left. Some positions work better with this dick. You'll have to figure out your preference. Explore the Kama Sutra!

4 - Mr. Grower
- here is the mystery dick. Full of surprises. When you first meet this dick, he resembles a Micro Peen. You think to yourself, "how is this going to be any fun for me?" All of a sudden, it's like a bean stock! That Micro Peen starts to engorge and before your eyes you're met with a tool that you'll scratch your head wondering HOW??!? Where did all of this dick come from & why are you hiding it??

5 - Mr. Smooth
- this guy is kind of rare. I've only seen ONE of these in real life. I had to touch it to make sure it was even real. Balls to tip....completely smooth. No raised veins, no stray hairs, no color changes, no imperfections..... nothing. It looks fake. It looks like a prosthetic dong, but the exist.

6 - Mr. Road Map
- this one is the opposite of Mr. Smooth. This dick is FULL of pronounced veins and ridges. I like these, you get some texture. They don't make ribbed and studded condoms for nothing.

7 - Mr. Sweater
- this is an uncut dick. I'm not a fan. I don't care how OCD you are about your personal hygiene. It can be scary if you've never seen one. The act of pulling back the skin to unsheathe this dick has been known to turn some women off. There are a lot of different cultures that keep the foreskin. *Expect it to still be INTACT if the guy you are about to get busy with is from another country.

8 - Mr. Body Mod
- you might not see this as often as the rest. However, body modification is popular and everyone seems to want to up the ante in this practice. You might find tattoos, piercings(anywhere), implants (BBs, speed bumps, patterns), scarification( it may even be split or resemble a hot dog that spent too much time in the microwave). These dicks can be fun. Don't freak out. Just give it a try.

There are more out there. I just wanted you to know about a few common dicks you'll encounter in your sexual awakening. Remember, just because he's small, doesn't mean he can't knock the bottom out or grow right before your eyes. Also, if he's big, that doesn't mean he can fuck either.

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